Monthly Archives: October 2007

Sleep helps everything

It’s been a busy week or so and my writing practice made it to abandoned status. I’m wrapping up my current job and heading for new opportunities on November 5.  Although endings aren’t easy and decisions sometimes difficult, I can hear Louise Hay in my ear. “You are never stuck. You can always make another decision.” This thought alone removes any in-trepidation toward change. Actually, I have no fear with this move, just positive thoughts of opportunistic doors. 

Have you ever been to one of those Superstore cooking nights? I suggest you go. The martini girls’ October soiree featured live cooking by a professional, very entertaining chef named Chris Burton. The food was plentiful and delicious and it was a relaxing good time at an affordable price. We even had time to catch up on all the delicious details we can’t wait to share each month. I’d do it again. It would make a great date for new or seasoned couples.

I won four free tickets to a local Yuk Yuks comedy club last week on Facebook. What an awesome, totally random gift that was. Live stand-up is one of my favourite things and it was a great lineup. The headliner was from Alberta. Very funny guy. It was last week, so I don’t remember his name, but he was tall and I think he had a manic ex named Sherrilyn who he referred to in dark but funny light.

Friday night I was honoured to be offered a seat at Orange Crush, the Mocean Dance annual fund-raising gala. They unveiled their new website and the performances were outstanding. I was mesmerized. Actually, it made me want to do 300 sit-ups and 6000 leg presses. Funny, compelling, emotional and energizing. Oh and did I mention, completely entertaining. I would definitely pay to see them again.

KD (my older son) played his first hockey game on Sunday (at 7:00 am). He was so excited. He almost got a break away but the whistle blew and he fell over…it was right there though…next time. He lamented that I didn’t wave to him when he was on the bench, right after he gave me sneers for not picking the right pose for his school picture. He’s moving into a new stage. I need drugs. 

I’m noticing that my kids are treating me disrespectfully lately, especially KD. “If you don’t let me do this…(insert something weird here)….I’ll hate you forever.” My response is, “I’ll love you forever and the answer is still no.” I’m not sure what to do about this, except try to keep from losing my temper and reminding him that girls don’t like it when boys speak badly to their mothers because they think they will speak badly to them too. At least that’s how I feel, and I’m a girl. Of course, a Mommy’s boy isn’t where it’s at either, but it’s better than being mean to the person who brought you into the world, unless she’s a “boy’s Mommy” and then sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind…a little bit. Makes me want to be more patient with my mother too. The lessons we teach are often the lessons we need.

I’m overtired, extremely. Way too many worthy late nights and too much going on. My teeth are clenched, my shoulders are stiff and my neck is in knots. I had a panic attack last week. Woke up to my heart pounding out of control. I used the hummingbird breath and it worked like a charm 1 or 2 minutes was all it took. Stress is bad. Stress is bad. 

But, I got my braces off this morning…so I’ve got some pearly whites happening. I’ve been smiling at myself all day. Once again, I’m very entertaining in traffic.

Oh and my kids are enjoying Sunday School. I couldn’t be more pleased. KD prays for money and JB prays for Mommy, Daddy and sleep. Me too buddy.


Kudos to Jeff Mac

Jeff at Manslations answered my question yesterday. I’m thrilled with the response. This guy is FUNNY and oh so right on. See if you agree.

I was gmailing a friend tonight and noticed an alarming ad: Be A Player. Learn how to be a player and get more women. It’s strange how women are trying to side-step these guys (for the most part) and gain self-confidence while there are people making money trying to teach men how to become one. I’m not sure I’ve seen an ad for how to become a slut, but I should try gmailing this term to myself to see what comes up.

One strange search term recently is Mandy Barker. My Mandy barker is sleeping on my couch, shedding DNA from her well rounded physique. To date she hasn’t played hockey nor launched a clothing line, although if she did it would definitely be fur-lined.

Not so strange results

Well, thanks to Brahnamin over at Juggling Cats, I am experiencing hits for the term “lisinopril and snake venom”. I’m not even sure what this is. Also privacy on Facebook seems like a hot topic right now…could people finally be getting it? I’m still a FBer though, just found a neighbourhood friend I first met in the 70s. That’s going back a bit, he’s still as handsome as ever and glad to see he’s doing well on the other side of the country.

Oh, and after months of nudging and luring emails, I finally created a profile on an online dating site. It’s just for kicks really, but I had my first IM contact. We’ll call him The Grunter. Didn’t say much, but did ask for more photos. In his defence, he had two photos of himself, well one was of his truck. I was conveniently interrupted.

So, I’m no longer an online chat virgin, but like other things in life, the first time is usually just a practice shot. At least I know what buttons to push now.

And then I heard them say…

“Daddy doesn’t have money for the treat machines, but Mommy does. Go ask her.”

“Sorry the floor is wet, Mommy. I was trying to pee in that plastic jug. I missed a couple times.”

“God is Jesus’ Dad.”

“Mommy, I love you. Stop squeezing me so hard.”

“If you don’t let me do whatever I want, I’m never listening to you again.” [Really? I guess that’s what I get for the “If you don’t…then you won’t…” parenting]

Please excuse the mess…

My header is under construction….Wordpress is being figidity.

Well…it happened

My kids’ Dad found my blog and immediately questioned why I was posting about his Mother and kids so openly. Which hit a bit of a tender spot with me, since I am a little leery of using real names. I’m now thinking I may make some adjustments to ensure our anonymity is maintained. It’s smoke and mirrors of course for anyone who knows us personally, but if he misses this post, I’m in the clear.

I like the way Susan has done it. I’m inspired. Hey, it may be fun to create and control a parrallel experience of our reality.

People, protect your privacy

I’m re-posting this as I’ve gotten some traffic to it lately.

Updated October 19, 2007 

The Facebook experience has quickly become a social phenomenon. Some complain it is so “impersonal”. Others love being able to keep up/hook up with old friends. Which begs the question, what exactly is a friend? Are people collecting friends as tokens or is everyone on their list someone they would let drink beer in their living-room. 

It’s a psychology and sociology lab for sure. The technology becomes your ally when someone asks to be your friend and an ex-patriot when your extension of friendship isn’t returned as quickly as you would expect. I’m also left feeling like my life needs more excitement. Look at all these people. Look at what they are doing. How can I get a piece of the action? Actually, my life is full, I’m not complaining.

The privacy issue is paramount. As an on-line marketer, I am forced to run all forms and surveys through a rigorous set of privacy rules designed to protect the visitor’s information. And, let’s not get started on the issues around persistent cookies. But Facebook flies directly in the face of the privacy issue. Here you have individuals posting their own information and thereby giving permission for others to see it. The trouble is they may not be completely aware of how these seemingly innocent tidbits of information can be used maliciously. Call me paranoid, but I don’t think I want any information on there that isn’t obvious by looking at me.

The interface does allow you to control what you are sharing and it’s good to be aware and implement some privacy restrictions.

  • Make your profile only available to your friends, unless you are using your profile to attract business. In that case, limit your personal information—it is extremely easy for predators to “profile” you or god forbid, your children. Facebook recommends leaving the profile open and it definitely keeps people on the site longer—a fun way to kill about 12 hours a week. However, I often feel like I’m eavesdropping, or worse, like I’m on a dating website or stalking a crush I’m too shy to ask to be my friend. I’d love to see the stats on how many profiles are open versus closed, the trends and the demographics.  Actually, I’d just love to see the stats.
  • If you do have your profile open, at least turn off your wall. It really is a “predator’s playground”. I have nightmares of people being stalked in reality because someone was able to find out “everything” about them. And their wall says where they can be found on Friday night. I bet there is already more than one movie script in the works.
  • Remember that all those photos you load up are available to potential employers, your mother and your children.
  • I’m also mindful that pictures of me can be added without my permission and tagged. That’s definitely creating anxiety over my wine-induced antics. In all seriousness though, I can see this becoming a major privacy issue. I’ll be watching this one.
  • Turn off the news feeds for unimportant changes. The default is for every little change you make to your profile or wall to be fed to every friend. Often this information is provided out of context, not important (like fixing a typo) or something you don’t want to scream to the world (like you went from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated” to “single” in less than 3 days).
  • With the addition of all these applications that everyone, including me, so casually load up:  FunWall, Pirates, SuperPoke…I’ll stop there…you are, in effect, placing your profile information in the hands of third-party developers. If that makes you uncomfortable, you can change your privacy settings for the apps or remove them completely. In fact, your profile page will love the fall fix-up. I do get lots of traffic to my blog from my profile page because my posts are fed to my WordPress application. I’ll be keeping this one. I already have a relationship with WordPress.
  • Under search settings be sure to turn off the Public Search Engine listing if you don’t want your profile to be found by popular search engines, like Google.
  • I personally have my privacy turned way down and don’t shoot news feeds to my friends. However, it’s creepy that if I write on a friend’s wall and they do shoot news feeds, my comments are sent to all their friends.
  • If you’re ever uncomfortable, remove your profile, join a local FA group and start your recovery.

I was actually trying to create a clandestine Facebook experience with someone who isn’t listed as a friend. I have no particular need to do this, it’s just bugging me that I can’t find a way. It’s my response to the privacy issue — trying to find a comfort level and a little more control. One thing I have done is messaged or poked someone who isn’t a friend and voila, we have access to each others profiles for 30 days. That’s kind of clandestine I guess.

It was time

After many months I have changed my blog theme. Not sure if it’s better. I was actually looking for one with a larger font size so I can edit more comfortably.

I set an intention for yoga class tonight and focused hard, between breaths. The meditation took me around it a bit as my ego struggled to keep what I was trying to relieve myself of. You know what? It worked! I feel lighter, like the weight that was bringing me down is sitting at the bottom of the ocean and I’m now free to splash and dance onshore.

Something’s been bugging me though. Why do the words blog and wordpress get caught in my wordpress blog spellchecker?

I’m also wondering why I have this insane urge to get drunk. Not tipsy, drunk!

Daunting swirls

Forever doesn’t seem that long when you consider how many people have sworn forever and then let it glide by. If you look at the world from a mile high, you’ll see that your forever is a spec compared to the time it has taken for life to evolve to what it is today. I’m not afraid of forever. Like never, it hasn’t happened yet

I also don’t pretend that forever is irredeemable. We all feel intensely about things today that we didn’t even consider in the past. We shift, moment by moment. What feels like a forever state now, may not raise a conscious thought tomorrow. Thinking that something is forever is limiting. How do you know that you’ll feel the same way always? Besides my kids and my family and my close friendships, I can’t say what will remain with me beyond tomorrow.

There are some things I carry with me that I have to train myself to dump, else risk labelling them ‘forever feelings’ that limit my ability to move forward. I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago. Hell, I’m not the same person I was even yesterday.  Transforming ourselves is rooted in our ability to remove expectations and attachments to outcomes and let the life we intentionally create move us forward moment by moment.

Forever doesn’t scare me, it fills me with hope for tomorrow, but I don’t hang my hat on it.

Canary in a coal mine

I’m certain there is something wrong with the air quality around me. It’s being measured so I’ll soon see what is making me feel so sick and tired and lethargic. Unless, of course, I keel over before the test is complete.