I’ve been searching for answers to a question that won’t rest. When I do let it slip into a deep sleep, it awakens with a jolt and I feel it on my shoulders, weighing me down. Into the darkness I go, searching once again for the faintest bit of light to uncover wisdom. My patience is conflicted with an earnest need to know.
It’s not a big deal if you look at it from 1000 miles away. Nothing is really. Except the health and happiness of your children, that’s because they are always with you, never 1000 miles away.
So, I breathe and surround myself with loving kindness to nurture the question, but even meditation and stillness bring no real comfort for this one. Am I ready to know the answer? Likely not. The student needs more time and the teacher hasn’t planned the lesson.
Or, maybe I’m just in love with the question. Love the excitement and the danger of not knowing something. If we have all the answers, life is not worth discovering.