Lately, when I create a post and mark it private, then hit the publish button, it goes up, published, live, and appears in my Facebook feed. Wait…I am an idiot. I should hit the save button, not the publish button.
You should see the stuff I’ve got in here that you can’t see…
Yesterday I slow-cooked chicken with potatoes, carrots, sweet potatoes and basil. I used boneless chicken so I wouldn’t have to worry about my kids choking on those nasty little bones. So tell me, when you find bones and skin in your boneless, skinless chicken, should you take it back?
I’ve been soiled, a little less pure.
But, I actually have more to say, to think and feel. Here’s a little something about nothing.
Money doesn’t rule the world, but we all want it and no one ever gives it back, and if they did, they regret it.
Love is like a candle. You have to strike a match to appreciate its beauty.
Sex isn’t something naughty, it’s a form of communication. Like, “I like you, get closer”.
Your career isn’t the most important thing, but it creates a base for happiness. Unless, of course, it doesn’t make you happy, in which case you need to do more of what does.
Women like bad boys because they are safe. They are so busy trying to fix the guy they don’t have time to focus on themselves.
Bad boys like women who make them unhappy, because they like to have a reason to cheat, drink and lie.
Everyone complains they don’t have enough, but they probably do, they just can’t find it among all their stuff.
Everyone loves drama and conflict. Without it there’s no art.
Religion isn’t about rules, it’s about acceptance.
War doesn’t stop anything but life.
Peace begins inside. We are beacons.
Kids need structure, freedom and security. Without it they grow up afraid.
Your life doesn’t end until there’s no one left to remember you.
Sometimes we make mistakes, loving kindness is our eraser.
Growing old is a blessing. May you all be blessed.
If we truly appreciated how precious our time is, we’d be nicer to each other.
Our minds are powerful. We create what we think. So, believe anything you want as long as it’s positive. All great people have been labelled insane at least once. For instance, right now I’m thinking I have no forty-something acne and I didn’t just drop $150 at Winners. Why do Tommy jeans look so dam good? So no one will notice the acne. That’s the power of positive spending.
There’s just one rule.
Don’t go on a date after you’ve had your children all day.
You’ll already be too tired of saying,
“No. Stop.
I said don’t do that.
Don’t touch that.
You’re going to make a mess.”
When you’re feeling like no one cares,
you get a message from a friend filled with
fun and empathy, and you smile.
When you’re feeling like you’re not able,
your children hug you and say they love you,
and you smile.
When you’re feeling like the good stuff is taking too long
to come your way, you get a call from an old friend,
and you smile once again.
Life is a mixture of hope, disappointment and intrigue
when we worry, we lose hope.
when we expect, we find disappointment
when we hold each minute as it comes, we experience the intrigue.
I’m not feeling well today. Perhaps too much sugary foods which are…um…not good for me. I was awake most of the night and had to beg off work today. I checked my emails though and my voicemails. Nothing urgent, but I miss the structure when I’m sick. Rest is good though, renews the soul.
I must have slept a little last night. I had a dream I was surrounded by close friends and they were encouraging me to do something…I’m not sure what. But the dream was relaxing and when I awoke I felt as if I could take on the world…for a couple of minutes anyway.
Remember that log I was treading in the summer. It’s dry now and I’ve cut it up for firewood. It still keeps me warm but soon it will be nothing more than ashes and I’ll have only the memory of its challenge and conquer. I’ve moved. It’s a good feeling. Maybe that’s what my dream was about.
I haven’t worn any jewellery for months, but Justin picked out a pair of earings for me to wear today, so I did. I wore them as I ripped up the carpet on my back deck–I finally got tired of looking at it. Even with the chipped paint, it’s still an improvement. My hands took a beating. I have a blister on my thumb to match the dozens on my feet and the calouses on my left finger tips. Sounds like I’m in hard shape, but it’s barely noticeable, I hope. It felt good to take care of things around the house. This summer has been busy. I started off like fireworks on the July weekend, painting the outside of my fence, my front porch, and keeping the dandelions in check. But the days got away from me. My lawn is full of weeds and the bushes in front are in need of shaping. I trimmed them a bit yesterday, but my sheers are quite dull, so it’s a hack job at best.
Does it really matter? Brian’s Mom is back in ICU. She has a blood clot in her neck and they don’t really know what’s going on with her. She may need surgery again. What can I do but pray and hope for the best? Maybe I should have went to church today so I’d be a little closer to God’s ear, if that’s possible. It’s depressing really, seeing a family in so much pain and so absorbed in worry about someone they love so much. Really adds perspective to your day.
Friday night on the way to Mom’s house Korey asked me how the bones come out of a body when someone dies. I told him they don’t, the skin melts away over time and leaves the bones behind.
“Do they take the bones out before they bury you?”
“No, they bury you with the bones.”
“Then how do you get to heaven?”
“Well, this is important, so listen up. Your soul is in your body. Your body stays on earth and your soul goes to heaven. Then it may come back in another body someday.”
“What is a soul?”
“Your soul is what makes you you. How you feel about things. How you look at life. What makes you happy. What makes you sad. Everything about you comes from your soul. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering.”
Seven years ago today I learned I was pregnant with Korey. The news came just after returning from the funeral home to make arrangements for my father’s wake. It was bittersweet. Something to occupy us and bring happy to the sad day. Sad in a way that we lost such a meaningful person in our lives, but glorious in that he was now ready for peace and to move on. I hope he left knowing everything was ok, that we’d take care of Mom and our lives were full. I wonder if he knew I was pregnant.
The day before he died Mom called to get my help. Dad had slipped out of his wheelchair and she couldn’t lift him back up. I rushed over and I remember telling him that I was married and wondered if he remembered that day just one year earlier. I didn’t know by 11:00 that night I’d be back again to say a final goodbye. We thought Mom had just given him too much food. We didn’t realize how very sick he was. He left. But inside of me there was life. Now a happy six year old who thrills at computer games, loves to learn and gives me lots of love.
Five years ago tomorrow, I found out I was pregnant with Justin.
September is such an important month, don’t you think?
So you know the book, “He’s just not that into you”? Well, I bought it and read it Saturday night, it’s extremely funny. What was I thinking all this time. I love being single, I’m learning so much about myself and relationships. I know I’m not ready for one yet, I’ve got a long way to go. But, boy, lookout cause I’m going to be awesome at it soon. Can you earn a degree in relationships? I suppose the course would require co-operative learning experiences.
It’s all very cerebral though. I need some zen influence to balance it out. Is there a buddhist book on relationships? If there is, I’m sure it will say something like, “so, you got together, you liked each other, it was nice. Well, how nice. It’s now part of you and you can hold it or release it, but put no expectation around it and you won’t be disappointed.”
Ah, that feels much better than rejection.
Brian’s Mom had her surgery last night. They opened her up and removed part of her small intestine and found the cancer had spread to her colon, so they took some of that too. The surgeons were really pleased with the outcome, but Brian says she looks terrible, with tubes everywhere. He’s so scared. I wish I could hold him and take his pain away. I’ll hold him in my heart, that might help. And, I’m praying for his Mom to recover, to be well again to enjoy her family and grandchildren.
She’s being moved to ICU and they are giving her a blood transfusion because her blood count was so low.
Just a Moment 