Just a Moment

I scooped up my boys today after two nights with their dad. One had been replaced with a bucket of sauce, sharper and spicier than I ever remember. And, I was not in the physical mood to lay down any harsh correction. I chose to ignore it, at least until bed time when I told him I loved him no matter what but didn’t like his behaviour today. In an act of self pity, he sobbed that nobody loved him. I said that wasn’t true. You don’t like yourself right now because of the way you treated Mommy today. Drop the sauciness and you’ll feel better. They are both resting now, the first quiet moment all day which was filled with lots of boy adventure. I love to watch them and listen to their discoveries. I wish I had the energy to participate more.

Tomorrow night we’ll have a party for the kids while the mommies relax under the talented hands of our estetician. My affirmation got me through a tough day, although it fell short momentarily. There is only so much sauce you can take before you slip on it and I wiped out big time. But, it was short lived and the rebound was full of hugs and kisses.

The book 1-2-3 Magic still sits in my bathroom. I need some magic right now.

A friend and I performed an autopsy on our birth charts last night. Interesting stuff. I’m going to delve into this for my children to help me better understand what makes them tick. They are both Geminis, birthdays exactly two weeks apart and neither one an annoying person “on the cusp”.

But they are completely different on many fronts. KD (almost seven) is a quick thinker, likes to keep the peace, has a very rational mind and not prone to expressing his inner most feelings, publicly or privately.

JB (almost five) rants, raves, explodes and covers his emotions with humour…hmmm sounds like someone in my mirror. Unlike his brother though, who seems to side-step emotional stuff, JB absorbs it and it surfaces during the quiet times. This past Saturday at the museum, an Osprey exhibit (the Osprey is Nova Scotia’s provincial bird) included a male and female Osprey waked under glass. Their little legs were crossed and pins held their beaks back.

At one point I spotted JB hanging around the exhibit, staring intently at their faces. That night in bed he choked out his thoughts, “remember those birds at the museum? That was sad. How did they die?”

Don’t get me wrong, KD is no cold fish. He is warm, loving and affectionate, he simply diverts himself from troubling emotions. Last summer when their paternal grandmother was sick, KD’s reaction was to say, “everything will be ok.” Whereas, JB wanted us to hold hands and pray for her and he sobbed himself to sleep with worry.

With a pretty clear understanding of who I am, it’s time to start focusing on my kids. I likely won’t share my findings with them as I don’t want to peg them into neat planetary compartments that create limitations in their minds.

I believe we are impacted by the stars but our thoughts and intentions can bump them out of orbit to create the life we want.