Korey’s been saying lately that during lunch and recess he walks around by himself because he can’t find anyone to play with. Obviously this concerns me. My observation is that he’s always been good at making friends.  Of course, at home, he can be a bit too “leadership driven” and fortunately, Justin is pretty compliant so far. But, that’s at home.

I’ve been trying to determine if he’s making drama waves, being bullied, or just not into what the other kids are doing. I don’t think he likes the rough sports because he’s not into the pushing and shoving. He’s a goalie, remember. Pretty solo life there between the pipes and lots of admiration at the end of the game. He was awarded the Herd Hat last week for the hardest working player. He was so excited about that and the 6″ bologna sub.

My heart breaks, but I don’t want to over-react. So, I tell him what I just recently learned. Which is that people can’t make you feel anything. How you feel is your choice.

Like when I get frustrated. It’s not that they are doing things TO make me frustrated. They are just doing things AND I’m feeling frustrated. Helps keep my reaction in perspective.

I just don’t know what to do and I can’t remember everything about grade three except that I’m sure it was a bit lonely. At 8, almost 9, the world does start to lose its shine a bit and the acceptance of others seems to matter more.

As I type this, every moment of feeling left out and not fitting in flashes back to me. Wow! I think I’ll go re-tuck him in with an extra kiss and squeeze.

The moon was used as a garbage can today; completely on purpose.

How is it that the fine folks at NASA, who are supposed to be smart, thinking, educated people, actually thought this was a good idea? What possible good could come of this “cause” and yet to be realized “effect”?

Are these the same-schooled scientists who, 50 years ago, thought dumping garbage and toxins wouldn’t harm the earth.

According to the NPR article:

NASA has emphasized that the impact won’t hurt the moon, which is used to getting hit by space objects. It has no atmosphere to protect it and constantly gets bombarded by all kinds of meteorites, large and small.

Are they sure it didn’t hurt anything? Are they sure there will be no effect on our tides and atmosphere?  In my opinion, they are so caught up in their science project, they’ve lost sight of the number one rule:  Don’t mess with nature because payback is a bitch. The moon may seem a passive player compared to the sun, but it’s no less a life-force.

The best question is, why didn’t they just wait for the next “natural” hit if they were so interested? I’m sure they are sophisticated enough to track a meteor headed for the moon and swoop in for a shot or two.

Patience people, if we are meant to know the secrets of the universe, they will be revealed when we are ready to accept them. 

I’m sure the cost of this endeavor could have had a greater impact here on earth. In my opinion, the weirdos who got off on this should walk a mile in the shoes of the hungry, sick, and homeless. 

I’m constantly amazed at the expense paid for useless research but this one tops the charts. We are in a global recession. Reducing green house gases and lowering our carbon footprint are high on corporate and personal agendas. Where does this seemingly useless act of destruction and waste fall on the social responsibility scale?

The bottom line here is that not only have we damaged our earth through waste and destruction, now the moon has intentionally been used as a junk yard.

It’s disturbing, like the movie Wall-e. 

In other news, President Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize. Ok. And, Marge Simpson will be on the November issue of Playboy. What a weird day.

Oh, and a friend’s Dad passed away. Which is what really caused my heart to hurt. I can see him right now in front of me, what a gentle soul. May you all find peace in your own time.

It’s now 11:53 and I have until 12:00 to write, so I’ll get straight to the point.

Tomorrow I promise I will get up when the alarm goes off at 5:45 and get ready to go to work. No diddle-daddle, just me, moving at the speed of “I mean it”. There’s a full day inside that inside office of mine, full of work that’s all started, yet far from complete and the office itself is far from decorated or tidy. In fact, it sickens me to sit there. I move from file to file, touching everything, completing nothing. It’s not how I prefer to work.

I’m reminded of  a saying that came from what was probably the first time management course ever to be labelled something other than common sense. The motto is:  Touch each piece of paper only once.  It was such a great idea that people would have it engraved on the back of the nameplate that sat on their desk, so the world could see who they were and they could see what they were supposed to do. 

I’m going to do this…tomorrow. Tonight I touched my taxes about 20 times. I could get busted for feeling up the government.

It’s 12:00.

This past year my life has been jammed with work and kids and other pleasant me-stuff. Taking on an interim new role at work was challenging, motivating and super confidence-building. But, my writing time suffered and I feel like a neophyte as I type this.

Let’s see if I can get back in the zone…testing, testing…

To feel life within your heart, you need to hold the joy and pain, the laughter and tears. Without them you are empty and stuck. Each breath is a moment that crescendos to the peak of our existence. We don’t live to breathe, we breathe each moment to create a life worth living and it’s ours to experience without judgement from others. Accepting ourselves as we are frees us to become who we want to be.

Ok, that was painful.  

I have so much to share. So many learnings and lessons. Hurray moments and disappointments, but tonight I’ll just mention that my new kitty is growing balls. Enjoy ’em while you gottem’ Mel.