Korey’s been saying lately that during lunch and recess he walks around by himself because he can’t find anyone to play with. Obviously this concerns me. My observation is that he’s always been good at making friends. Of course, at home, he can be a bit too “leadership driven” and fortunately, Justin is pretty compliant so far. But, that’s at home.
I’ve been trying to determine if he’s making drama waves, being bullied, or just not into what the other kids are doing. I don’t think he likes the rough sports because he’s not into the pushing and shoving. He’s a goalie, remember. Pretty solo life there between the pipes and lots of admiration at the end of the game. He was awarded the Herd Hat last week for the hardest working player. He was so excited about that and the 6″ bologna sub.
My heart breaks, but I don’t want to over-react. So, I tell him what I just recently learned. Which is that people can’t make you feel anything. How you feel is your choice.
Like when I get frustrated. It’s not that they are doing things TO make me frustrated. They are just doing things AND I’m feeling frustrated. Helps keep my reaction in perspective.
I just don’t know what to do and I can’t remember everything about grade three except that I’m sure it was a bit lonely. At 8, almost 9, the world does start to lose its shine a bit and the acceptance of others seems to matter more.
As I type this, every moment of feeling left out and not fitting in flashes back to me. Wow! I think I’ll go re-tuck him in with an extra kiss and squeeze.
December 4th, 2009 at 8:07 am
wow…such a good mommie you are
December 4th, 2009 at 8:17 am
An extra tuck, kiss and squeeze from my Mom seemed to make it better for me at that age. And that was really all she could do too 🙂
December 5th, 2009 at 1:56 am
I’ve been thinking back to my parenting classes and remember now that one way to help children is to model and initiate self-praise practices. This helps them build self-esteem and acceptance of themselves as a good person. We sometimes do a “best part of the day” q&a, now I think I’ll switch to, “what was I really good at today”.
Oh, and M-E, you turned out just wonderfully, so I’m not worried. I like what you said today about the most interesting people grow from kids that played by themselves. Popularity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…too much pressure.