Here’s something I’m fairly certain about:

It doesn’t matter where you’ve been. The most important thing is where you are going.

I’ve often let the past hang around and drag me down. My thinking was that people would see my failures and missteps and judge my ability to achieve. That is wrong thinking on my part. Most people are so busy chasing their own fears away, they will see you only for what you have to offer.

I believe that our successes are born of failure. We achieve by collecting lessons and bridging them to the future. Beginner’s luck is only there to give us a taste of how much we can accomplish through hard work and dedication to our dreams.

And those dreams are allowed to change. For life to continually be fulfilling, we reach for the next accomplishment (big or small) to elevate our learning—sometimes about the world, sometimes about a certain subject matter—most importantly, about ourselves. Being present doesn’t mean we stay where we are, it simply means we fully experience where we are.

It’s hard to let go of the past and to shake the fear of failure and success. But love is the opposite of fear and offering ourselves forgiveness and loving kindness is the only way to release what’s holding us back. Loving ourselves makes us brave.

Besides, no one eulogizes the failures, real or imagined.

For example, if I hadn’t released my fear:

• I wouldn’t be a mother
• I wouldn’t be playing the guitar
• I wouldn’t be singing
• I wouldn’t be successful in my field
• I wouldn’t have so many close, meaningful friendships
• I wouldn’t be loving a beautiful man
• You wouldn’t be reading this.

What’s left in the dark is revealed in the light. We are lost forever if we cannot find the power within ourselves to feel another’s pain or joy. We fall within our own heartache if we foresake the closeness we so desire. The world isn’t ever the place we thought. It’s always better, but only if we believe in ourselves and our ability to create the life we want. Forever isn’t always, but it’s the closest we come to finding solid steps toward our passions. When we falter we learn. When he rejoice in our triumphs, we release a piece of ourselves, spreading it out for others to devour.