Here’s something I’m fairly certain about:
It doesn’t matter where you’ve been. The most important thing is where you are going.
I’ve often let the past hang around and drag me down. My thinking was that people would see my failures and missteps and judge my ability to achieve. That is wrong thinking on my part. Most people are so busy chasing their own fears away, they will see you only for what you have to offer.
I believe that our successes are born of failure. We achieve by collecting lessons and bridging them to the future. Beginner’s luck is only there to give us a taste of how much we can accomplish through hard work and dedication to our dreams.
And those dreams are allowed to change. For life to continually be fulfilling, we reach for the next accomplishment (big or small) to elevate our learning—sometimes about the world, sometimes about a certain subject matter—most importantly, about ourselves. Being present doesn’t mean we stay where we are, it simply means we fully experience where we are.
It’s hard to let go of the past and to shake the fear of failure and success. But love is the opposite of fear and offering ourselves forgiveness and loving kindness is the only way to release what’s holding us back. Loving ourselves makes us brave.
Besides, no one eulogizes the failures, real or imagined.
For example, if I hadn’t released my fear:
I wouldn’t be a mother
I wouldn’t be playing the guitar
I wouldn’t be singing
I wouldn’t be successful in my field
I wouldn’t have so many close, meaningful friendships
I wouldn’t be loving a beautiful man
You wouldn’t be reading this.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:54 am
Well said, H. I couldn’t say it any better. Fear can sometimes protect, often trap us. I’m glad you’ve reached beyond it to become all of what you listed and I’m sure more.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:28 am
well said, the way I view it: Lack of fear allows you to be who you want to be, and also to get back up on your feet again, if you do fail, and not let the past get in the way, which is the ultimate journey of fulfillment
February 27th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Susan, fear of wolves is good, but fear of ourselves is not. Thanks for chiming in. I’m always “afraid” no one will get it.
Walter, see, that’s why you make me so happy.