Just a Moment

My list is growing while I sit and write this, but it has to come out…when you gotta write, you gotta write.

So far today I managed to get the clothes folded. Now it’s just, hand washing my fine washables, a shower, grocery list development, dishes, sweeping the floor, tidying up, cleaning bathrooms, eating something and grocery shopping.

But I did manage to get a song down better on my guitar, read some nice poetry, play with my dog, sleep in, practice yoga and pilates…all in my jammies.

I’ve been thinking that what happens to us in life isn’t really what it appears. We see things through our judgements, attachments and desires. When we can just be with it, nothing seems really scary. We are stronger than we think.

I saw the Marilyn Munroe exhibit at the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia on Thursday. She was a beautiful woman. I found she got younger looking as she aged. Less makeup perhaps. The Martini Girls had dinner at a local pub on the waterfront and went on from there. We entered the Art Gallery through the back door and got lost. Around and around we roamed, until Kathy called to tell them we couldn’t find our way to the main entrance. A very nice person arrived to collect us. What a cultured group we are.

The performance of Marilyn: Forever Blonde was definitely the highlight. The scene is Marilyn’s bedroom on her final night as she recounts her entire life through words and music. My heart broke for this woman who merely wanted to be loved, but was only played with by men who didn’t think to look deeper within her soul. Sunny Thompson was stunning, breathtaking and completely Marilyn. I will never forget it.

KD wrote up his own Valentine’s Day cards this weekend. What a change from last year when I basically had to tie him to the chair and feed him candy to keep his attention. JB can make three letters, J, K and O. Did I mention his penmanship is remarkable for a four year old?

We went for a family skate today, all five of us. We got the family rate.

The boys were up since 6 am. KD decided he didn’t want to go to hockey. It was my intention that they would go back to sleep for an hour or two, but that didn’t happen. It was a long day for JB. He melted down at least three times. I held it together until the last one. Now I feel bad. He fell asleep with me lecturing him on how we had to work together. It’s not easy for Mommy and I need them to be good for me and not whine for stuff. When I say “No” it’s for a reason. I’m not trying to be mean. 

The downstairs phone is still missing. JB used it as a prop/hammer to make his point. He won’t even entertain the thought of trying to find it. I’ll have to call myself tomorrow to uncover it.

I’m thinking now I need to write something substantial, like a short story. I have a bunch I started a few years ago. One that keeps coming back to me and gives me chills when I read it. Now that I’m further along in my writing, I realize it needs tightening up; more showing, less telling. I got this spark from a writer I emailed online…yes a response. Not everyone is watching football I guess.

Another friend I met online called today to say he is going to drop-off and meditate for a month. I’m happy for him. It brings him peace and acts as a muse for his music. He’ll be in one of my favourite spots. I envy the thought of his surroundings, but not sleeping on the floor.

Strange thing occurred to me today. Valentine’s Day is conveniently sandwiched between the Superbowl and Daytona.

Can someone explain to me the point of throwing sneakers over an electrical line. Three pair swing in the wind at the bottom of my subdivision. There must be at least $150 good hard-earned dollars on display there. Who does this, and why? I also wonder how many tries it takes.

KD said the cops do it for Halloween. They take the scarecrows down and throw the sneakers up there.  WTF? He’s six so his hypothesis is likely accurate in his innocent mind. Besides he got agitated when I challenged him on it. So the explanation can hang around until we find a better one.

One day last fall when Mandy was in the midst of her nervous breakdown due to the changes in our living arrangements, JB came to me and said, “Mommy, I just ate a raisin off the floor and it didn’t taste very good.” Now, I’m not the best housekeeper, but raisins on the floor, that would rarely happen. I looked in the living room and noticed Mandy’s latest nervous reaction spread across the floor. So much for being on time for work that morning with extra teeth brushing, handwashings and clean up. KD loves to tell this story whenever he and JB are with friends. It really upsets JB and always makes him run crying that it “wasn’t funny.”

Maybe not, but this is:  One morning we were all in the bathroom getting ready and JB was jumping around, which is fine and normal for a four year old, but somehow the toilet, with the seat up…I live with boys remember…sucked him backward with a splash. He was soaked, a turtle struggling to free himself from the porcelain monster. Another late day for me. This memory always makes me laugh when KD tells the tale and its now grown to include the fact that he had just finished using the toilet.

I can sympathize with JB on the raisin story and scald KD for telling it, but the toilet one always gets me…JB needs to learn to laugh at himself. I’ve finally gotten KD to the point where he sees the funny in everyday mishaps. I think JB, even though he is the king of comedy, will be a harder nut to crack. How many times can I empathize that it wasn’t funny with a straight face?

Today was a vacation day for me. JB’s preschool had a skating party and he and I spent an hour and a half dancing on ice. He’ll be ready for hockey next year for sure. He asked to go through the drive thru at McDonald’s so I gladly obliged. We had a one o’clock date at KD’s school to help out in his classroom. He was so pleased to have us there. I stapled some Scholastic book orders together and read with a couple of the kids. It was enjoyable to see them participate and I picked up a few pointers on how to make them listen. I also noticed the teacher repeating herself again and again, so I guess it’s not just me that doesn’t get heard the first six times.

I saved three chicken nuggets for KD from lunch, but JB ate one and fed another to Mandy. KD sobbed. We had McDonald’s for dinner. Mother of the Year…I know.

The rain is still coming down and everything glistens as it turns to ice. The driveway was full of wet, heavy slush tonight. “I bet you miss him now,” called a neighbour. Funny, I was just about to yell over, “It feels good to do this myself.” Actually, I could use his plough to stretch out the opening a bit. It’s nice and roomy once you’re in but a bit of a squeeze getting there.

After nearly an hour of hard labour, my driveway is bare.