Monthly Archives: February 2007

Not myself

Something doesn’t feel quite right. I think I’ve ate too many cookies. My mood is a little down. I just sat for 20 minutes on hold waiting for an operator and was then cut-off after the phone began to ring. Now I’m sitting on hold a second time. I’m hopeful an operator will be with me shortly.


Sorry

I had to sit a while
and listen to a friend
she told a lovely story
I didn’t want to end.

I was brightened by her voice
and the way she lit my vision
her words brought love and hope
and I made a big decision.

I called another friend
and listened to her story
I shared my time and love
and told her I was sorry.


Creepy to Comfortable

Just noticed the sponsored ad links on Gmail are related to the content in your message. For example, an email from my friend included news about her guitar skills and yoga practice. The sponsored links included ads for guitars and yoga retreats. I felt a little violated by this discovery. It’s brilliant, of course. Relevancy wins on the web.

Actually, Google explains this nicely. They use the same technology as their AdSense Program to deliver relevant links based on content. All is good…I’m comfortable.


Not so dull

Went shopping today, just browsing for a new purse. Found one I liked, it was red, thought it might be too flashy for me. Gave up on the purse idea. Hunted for a white blouse…ran into a former colleague…caught up…found a white blouse, went back to the purses…found a wallet I really liked…former colleague returned and liked the red purse.  I now own a red purse, a white blouse and an (empty) new wallet.

While there I witnessed a couple shopping. The man was choosing clothes for the woman. He was saying things like, “wow this is really nice, it would look great with a black bra, you should definately try that one on.” I’m not sure I would want my partner so involved in my clothes selection, some things are sacred. I had a partner once who was really involved in decorating our home…it was wonderful at first, but after a while, well, a woman’s home is her castle and my castle didn’t feel so much like me. Alas, the castle is now his.


Wind Storm

On a morning bright and still
the promise was quite clear
the day would bring me sunshine
to dry away my tears.

The world stood still a moment
and watched me walk on past
the rain began to trickle down
the promise didn’t last.

The wind brought change and force
and whipped across my face
my tears were washed away
my troubles were erased. 


Reaching

It’s either I change my response or I remain stuck and frustrated. I need to breathe and let the words and language I hear roll off without impact. My guidance is clear: Don’t let the dry, fallen leaves hide the beauty of the tree. We all bloom in our own season. Be respectful of another’s place in their development and erase the expectation you have for them. See them as they are, as we all are, each one of us, just reaching. 


Forever able

Today was one of those days that sets you back and makes you take notice of what’s important. Life is unpredictable. I believe we create our reality through our focus and our thoughts. Having said that, it’s difficult to imagine we create troubling times or set ourselves up to fail. It’s hard to take responsibility for that, we like to blame others. The most important thing to remember is that we can always start again. Each moment brings a new thought, a new focus. “We are never stuck.” That’s what I’m learning from having a Louise Hay CD in my car. I feel empowered, I feel able to move forward, I feel forever able.

I have incredible people in my life that show me the way everyday. I know we are together for a specific purpose—for a higher learning that will bend us and comfort us at the same time—and I am thankful.


Seeds

I had a little acorn
I planted in the ground
it will grow to be an oak tree
—standing tall without a sound.

I’ll likely never see it 
with this set of eyes
but the promise of the acorn
outlives the old and wise.

My faith will reunite us
in a space and time that’s right
and a little child will swing so high
from its branches every night.


Simple things

Whatever it takes to make us happy is what we ought to go for. But what about the feelings of others. Can we be happy when those around us cry? Are we not more than just our own feelings? Today I’m simply puzzled by my inability to conceive the notion of wholeness. What we give we get. When we offer with a generous heart, our heart grows bigger. When we offer with judgement or expectation, our minds narrow. Yet there is resistance to letting go, to providing for someone else with what we have, what we conceive to be “ours”. I’m caught between the guilt of not offering more of what I have and a righteous sense of attachment to “my stuff”. Sleep on it and the answer will be clear. Let space and time open the pathway to knowledge. 

These moments in life are so defining. Bending ourselves this-way-and-that will lead us to a greater sense of who we are. It’s complicated at the moment, but one day it will seem a simple thing.


It’s loud in here

Why does quiet seem to come in spurts?  My mind is so full of imaginings that I can’t hear myself. Meditation is the only way to absorb the rush of messages coming in. My problem is that it’s hard to distinguish the inner voice from the ego and that makes it difficult for me to trust my intuition. Even when I think I’m listening, the ego wins on the second thought. Some meditation 101 is in order. I need to approach my practice as if for the first time, which is truly the only way to successfully approach it. The trick is to practice. Here’s a writing meditation that’s coming in as the noise in this place fades away. Where there is ever a dream you can live it. Where there is ever a joy you can experience it. Where you find love, you find yourself. Where you find yourself, you have love. Now that’s coming in loud and clear.