Monthly Archives: May 2008

Icing on the cake

Monday was JB’s birthday. He turned the big 5 and we had a digger cake. The same cake he and his brother have chosen for the past three years. I think it’s the dinkies on top that get them. What gets me are the mounds of icing. See, I love icing, it’s comfort food.

Today, we celebrated their birthdays with a joint party at the Superstore. Ten kids making pizza and decorating their own cake to take home, plus two birthday cakes, one for each boy. That’s alot of icing, but we managed.

Later in the afternoon we went to another birthday party, a pool party. I actually bought a new bathing suit and joined in the fun because the boys gave me a hard time after I didn’t get in the pool at the hockey pool party. I enjoyed it, it wasn’t over my head. KD told me my bathing suit was too small though. Damm, knew I should have gotten the larger size. No one else complained though and the girls stayed put nicely, even when the waves crashed around us.

After two hotdogs, some chips, pop and cheesies, we had cake. A hockey cake this time, chocolate underneath all that delicious icing.

Tomorrow, we have another party to attend. My great-nephew is turning 4. I’m assuming there will be cake, at least I’m hoping.

Sugar is not my friend, however, so I’m dropping acidophilus by the handfuls to try to rebalance the fun zone and keep me from getting too spaced out to think in a linear fashion.

I’m also trying to work on my taxes, not a great mix.

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While I was racing through Wal-mart today picking up a bow and arrow set for the boys, I stopped short at the discount book bin. The title caught my eye, “You Can Heal your Life”. Strange I thought, that’s the same title as Louise Hay’s book. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was her book. I didn’t expect to see it there at 25% off. I love finding a bargain on things I’ve hummed and hawed about purchasing at full price and abandoned at “submit order”.

And, so I am, in real time, opening the book to the lesson I most need to learn today.

Make Room for the New (on the left). Right, ok, clean out the closets, clutter and stuff I haven’t touched in a while. I get it. A cluttered closet means a cluttered mind. Fuck, that’s what is wrong with me. I’m living in frustration because everywhere I look there is shit waiting to fall on me. Or, at least it feels like it.

Love Your Bills (on the right). This one is timely. I missed a power payment somehow over the past four months. I could have sworn I paid it, but the bank has no record, nor the power company, so I’m in arrears and that hasn’t ever happened before. It sucks because now I have to make a double payment next month and I have that speeding ticket (my first) to pay by July, unless I decide to plea NG. All these extras just when I was getting ahead too.

But Louise says we need to stop worrying about money, stop resenting our bills and be grateful that someone trusts us to pay. Only then can we release the beliefs that we don’t deserve and open up to receive the lavish abundance of the universe.

Which gets me to thinking perhaps I’ve been putting off doing my taxes because I’m worried about the outcome. And, that maybe I should clean out the clutter first and allow the universe to fill the empty spots with abundance before I settle in to count the beans. You know, just in case it ends up being a bill, which now will have interest attached and I’ll need some abundance to remit.

Yes, clearing the clutter feels good. Envisioning my dresser drawers closing all the way, being able to see the back of my closet, finding something, anything, in the junk drawer, organizing the medicine cupboard, nicely organized towels all facing the same way. The thought is making me calm.

Or, have I just found another good reason not to do my taxes tomorrow. This post was tonight’s.


Morning Pages

So it is with everything that we conquer and love and lose and win in the end. We evolve to the point of self-acceptance, to where we feel our souls are drawn and comfortable. What tells us where to stop? That peaceful feeling of nothingness? The smile that curls your lips for no reason at all? What we cannot control is better left outside of ourselves. Our lives need not be a struggle. Whether we feel deeply or spare our thoughts, we exist, larger than anything we can comprehend. Nothing leaves us, we are a combination of our thoughts, experiences and all that we allow to enter in. The stuff that brings us to where we are at the present moment is part of us. Without it we are lost in the great divide between something we expect and something we accept.

Fashioned outcomes are simply a wave we ride until our next great thought. What ever happens in the end we cannot control. It’s an evolution to learn to just be with it and allow our thoughts to shift us from disappointment to hope and then to confidence in our ability to create something spectacular. Affirm your belief in the abundance of the universe to quietly guide you. Listen to the whispers—they speak volumes.


See what I see

At long last the video is ready. I’ll let it speak for itself. Welcome to my world.

 


The passing

The cloud that hung over me the past two days has lifted and I’m once again feeling optimistic. Self-destructing negativity has fallen off the cliff and took with it those familar lonely, unworthy feelings. I’m left at the edge of something great. “This too shall pass” is the promise, and so it has.

Where do I go from here? Back to my usual self. Full of the stuff that makes life great and worth the struggles we face.

While I was held hostage by empty shoes and unzipped jackets, KD said, “Ok Mom, tell us for certain, which one of us do you love the most?”

“I love you both exactly the same. That’s not a fair question. That’s like asking who do you love more Mom or Dad?”

The choir was shattered glass. “We love Daddy more.”

“Because he listens to us better,” KD says.

“Because he lets us ride our bikes on the road,” says JB.

I’m the one who lets them ride their bikes on the road, but only when I’m outside with them and can yell, “CAR COMING.”

So, I listen to their requests and give them safe room to roam, and Dad gets the love.

All in a day’s joy.


Where’s my SEO?

Ok, so besides being completely amazed by the new tools and blogger gadgets WordPress in rolling out these days, I’m depressed that I can’t add my new Twitter account to my blog.  If you want to find me, go here and Twitter me up. Excuse me if I’m not Twitter-literate, I’m still getting used to this and trying to understand how it will, in fact, help me, or anyone for that matter. What am I doing? Well, I rarely answer that annoying question on Facebook, but not one to be left behind technically, I signed up to feel out the possibilities.

I returned from the second annual Atlantic Internet Marketing Conference on Tuesday. This year it moved to Moncton and my colleague and I had a nice drive up and back. The conference was well attended and the lineup of speakers offered up great ideas and some new thinking about how the web is evolving. Rob Swick from Alphasearch, once again put on a great show and I think everyone would have walked away with something to swing around back at the office. Usually it takes me a few days to absorb and apply my learnings.

ISL had a strong showing once again and positioned themselves well as a leader in web marketing and development. That Bob and Carol have had a great year. Jeff from Brightwhite Design too had a jam-packed two days with more valuable presentations than I was able to attend. I was surprised he wasn’t hoarse today in our meeting.

Jimmy tagged along with me and kept me company in my lonely hotel room. I sure hope we didn’t keep anyone up, especially when I plucked his g-string. Thanks to Roger for that little visual.

I was honoured to be asked to sit on an expert panel the last day, but had to decline because our travel plans would have seen me about Amherst at that time. I would like to be more involved next year and have been thinking of a great topic to add to the agenda. Rob, we can talk sometime.

No calls, emails or @Twitters about winning a Wii or an IPod Touch. Not my lucky week. I attended a spring fair at my son’s school on Saturday and won zippo there too, waited all afternoon and was still hopeful on Sunday that I might get that call. I did however, buy a lottery ticket tonight and I’m sending good boomerang karma out there.

Have no fear, if I win something, I’ll definitely be answering that nosey web-age question.