My live is full. Busy and joyful and fulfilling and worth waking up for. I love the madness. I love the excitement. I love being in it. I love being me. My house is messy, my kids are idle, my dog is frantic and I’m at peace.

In those seldom moments when there is time to think about the past, you still have the choice to dwell or move on.  The past cannot be taken away. It is part of you. Scrape off the sweet parts and devour them. Sprinkle honey on the sour parts—they will caramelize and be easier to swallow. Conquer the past and consume it joyfully. Feed your soul the delicacies of what was and whet your appetite with what can be.

If someone brings you fun, absorb it. If you are feeling hurt by something or a situation, move out of the way and let it go by. If you are feeling loved, let it surround you and bring you peace. If someone leaves a mark, be gentle with yourself till the scratch is gone.

It’s puzzling to others how excited I get over the smallest things. A new toothbrush makes me giggle with delight. A new spiral-bound journal sparks an adventure. A new book brushes up against me like a warm cat, nudging me to curl up. A new school yard story brings excitement and the promise of memories. See the joy in life…it does reflect back. Don’t turn away.

As we develop a sense of who we are, we attract people who want to know us, the real us. Hopefully these are the same people we want to know. I’m not afraid to stand my ground, to set my boundaries and draw the line. I know the universe is waiting for instruction from me. My intention is clear. This or something better is my request. I am without fear and without expectation. I am without, therefore everything is possible.

Before I met my husband I knew my “perfect” mate would bring me sunshine with an overcast day once and a while. When we met, there was a comfort that kept us close. We didn’t feel the rain. Or, maybe we did and that’s why we bought ourselves a house right away. Safe within our shelter, we settled in.

My agenda was clear and he bought in. Two years later we married, one year later we got pregnant with our first son, two years later we had our second son. Three years later, we separated. The rain stopped. We still experience the occassional shower but we are now able to bring some sunshine to each other. Our children are adjusting well. They like the sunshine.

There are challenges. We hear the words, it’s easy to walk away and harder to stay together. I don’t agree. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, much harder than feining affection in the rain.  So much self doubt and uneasiness and jealousy and frustration and fear. My faith is strong so I carry on without regret.

Something doesn’t feel quite right. I think I’ve ate too many cookies. My mood is a little down. I just sat for 20 minutes on hold waiting for an operator and was then cut-off after the phone began to ring. Now I’m sitting on hold a second time. I’m hopeful an operator will be with me shortly.

It’s either I change my response or I remain stuck and frustrated. I need to breathe and let the words and language I hear roll off without impact. My guidance is clear: Don’t let the dry, fallen leaves hide the beauty of the tree. We all bloom in our own season. Be respectful of another’s place in their development and erase the expectation you have for them. See them as they are, as we all are, each one of us, just reaching. 

Today was one of those days that sets you back and makes you take notice of what’s important. Life is unpredictable. I believe we create our reality through our focus and our thoughts. Having said that, it’s difficult to imagine we create troubling times or set ourselves up to fail. It’s hard to take responsibility for that, we like to blame others. The most important thing to remember is that we can always start again. Each moment brings a new thought, a new focus. “We are never stuck.” That’s what I’m learning from having a Louise Hay CD in my car. I feel empowered, I feel able to move forward, I feel forever able.

I have incredible people in my life that show me the way everyday. I know we are together for a specific purpose—for a higher learning that will bend us and comfort us at the same time—and I am thankful.