I turned the lights out at 10:30 last night, just before the big storm hit. I woke through the night, playing musical beds as the kids and I always do and I heard the wind, but didn’t look out. This morning I was met with screams from Korey about all the snow that had fallen. Pushing the door open, I found the back deck was up to my knees…now that might not be saying much, but it’s still deep when you have to shovel it.
The ex came by on a 4-wheeler to pick up the kids and plowed me out, it was the ex-swipe, not the traditional clean sweep of yesteryear. But, I’m grateful nonetheless. I cleaned up the rest, made a path for Mandy to get out the back door and waited.
The plow came by an hour later and dumped mounds of snow back in my clean driveway. I rushed out and a neighbour with a snowblower told me to take a break. Just as I was tidying that up, the plow came by a second time. I guess you shouldn’t call the plow driver a fuckin prick, because he came back a third time, just for fun.
All the snow has put me in the Christmas spirit. I called to make an appointment to have my carpets cleaned next week and have Mandy groomed. One always has to occur before the other. The Christmas tree will be hunted next Sunday and we’ll be all set. Now I just need to start the shopping.
I’m realizing that my problem with the kids not heeding me so well, is not entirely my fault, but as with everything in life, it’s my responsibility. You cannot control what you give away to someone else and that goes for your problems, emotions and money.
The kids call their Dad every time something goes wrong here and he disciplines them over the phone or talks them off the ledge. It’s not helpful. He is left with the feeling that I cannot control them so he has to step in and I’m frustrated that I’m being seen as ineffective.
I’m reminded that back in the summer I was disciplining the kids, loudly, and they commented to their Dad that they were afraid of me. I told Roger and he said, “Good. They should be afraid of you.” But, it was used as leverage to once again kick my parenting ability. It’s tough, but I’ll deal with it. I always do.