At long last the video is ready. I’ll let it speak for itself. Welcome to my world.
Author Archives: writesome
About writesome
The passing
The cloud that hung over me the past two days has lifted and I’m once again feeling optimistic. Self-destructing negativity has fallen off the cliff and took with it those familar lonely, unworthy feelings. I’m left at the edge of something great. “This too shall pass” is the promise, and so it has.
Where do I go from here? Back to my usual self. Full of the stuff that makes life great and worth the struggles we face.
While I was held hostage by empty shoes and unzipped jackets, KD said, “Ok Mom, tell us for certain, which one of us do you love the most?”
“I love you both exactly the same. That’s not a fair question. That’s like asking who do you love more Mom or Dad?”
The choir was shattered glass. “We love Daddy more.”
“Because he listens to us better,” KD says.
“Because he lets us ride our bikes on the road,” says JB.
I’m the one who lets them ride their bikes on the road, but only when I’m outside with them and can yell, “CAR COMING.”
So, I listen to their requests and give them safe room to roam, and Dad gets the love.
All in a day’s joy.
Where’s my SEO?
Ok, so besides being completely amazed by the new tools and blogger gadgets WordPress in rolling out these days, I’m depressed that I can’t add my new Twitter account to my blog. If you want to find me, go here and Twitter me up. Excuse me if I’m not Twitter-literate, I’m still getting used to this and trying to understand how it will, in fact, help me, or anyone for that matter. What am I doing? Well, I rarely answer that annoying question on Facebook, but not one to be left behind technically, I signed up to feel out the possibilities.
I returned from the second annual Atlantic Internet Marketing Conference on Tuesday. This year it moved to Moncton and my colleague and I had a nice drive up and back. The conference was well attended and the lineup of speakers offered up great ideas and some new thinking about how the web is evolving. Rob Swick from Alphasearch, once again put on a great show and I think everyone would have walked away with something to swing around back at the office. Usually it takes me a few days to absorb and apply my learnings.
ISL had a strong showing once again and positioned themselves well as a leader in web marketing and development. That Bob and Carol have had a great year. Jeff from Brightwhite Design too had a jam-packed two days with more valuable presentations than I was able to attend. I was surprised he wasn’t hoarse today in our meeting.
Jimmy tagged along with me and kept me company in my lonely hotel room. I sure hope we didn’t keep anyone up, especially when I plucked his g-string. Thanks to Roger for that little visual.
I was honoured to be asked to sit on an expert panel the last day, but had to decline because our travel plans would have seen me about Amherst at that time. I would like to be more involved next year and have been thinking of a great topic to add to the agenda. Rob, we can talk sometime.
No calls, emails or @Twitters about winning a Wii or an IPod Touch. Not my lucky week. I attended a spring fair at my son’s school on Saturday and won zippo there too, waited all afternoon and was still hopeful on Sunday that I might get that call. I did however, buy a lottery ticket tonight and I’m sending good boomerang karma out there.
Have no fear, if I win something, I’ll definitely be answering that nosey web-age question.
The Scorpion
Last week in yoga class I attempted to do a headstand from crow but couldn’t get my legs off my arms and all week my core muscles reminded me of it. Last night I was able to clumsily lift my legs into the air for a millisecond and then on a second attempt, I actually did it against the wall, without an assist. I felt courageous and confident during relaxation and beyond.
The next goal is Scorpion, which looks something like this. I’ve already tried the interim step, forearm stand, with an assist against the wall and failed miserably, because I started with my head on the floor and was unable to lift back up. Plus, I wasn’t quite sure I knew what I was trying to accomplish, but trusted my yoga instructor enough (and the fact that I am a Scorpio) to offer myself as the demo. I think I scared everyone with my screams of, “no, nO, NO”.
But last night my partner and I high-fived our success. I guess it is true that if you step outside of your expectations and resistance, you can accomplish more than you ever dreamed possible. I’m going to do a headstand now, just for fun. If I don’t come back, call 911.
Courage
Feeling overwhelmed
with hope and thoughts of more
finding every bit of me
knocking at the door
Down for the strum
into night’s pain
feeling water cleanse
and drying me insane
What, whatever, what for
when, whenever, wherefore
truth is present in itself
silent voices close the door
Waiting for something
waiting for time
wanting even more of me
fighting the sublime
Attraction
Yesterday I was thinking how awful it would be if my laptop crashed and I lost all my data. Tonight, it did. I’m going to take it in tomorrow to see if I can recover the lost pixels of my life.
Tonight as I snuggled with KD and JB brushed his teeth for what seemed like hours, I thought how awful it would be if he made a mess in the bathroom. He did. Filled an empty Kleenex box with water and it ran right through all three drawers. I lost it and KD called his dad because he was scared. I was scared too. Poor JB tried to help clean up but I just kept tellling him to go to bed.
When I went in to kiss him goodnight I told him I love him but I didn’t like what he did. He was sound asleep, but nodded that he understood. I hope he doesn’t dream that I have fangs and horns tonight. He had already told me earlier that he hated me and that daddy takes better care of them. All this after a full day of bike rides, trampolines, ice-cream, street hockey, brunch and a nice dinner.
I hope I haven’t thought about any other horrible things lately, seems the universe is on warp-speed.
Now I’m enjoying my sparkling clean bathroom vanity drawers and looking forward to a faster hard drive.
I didn’t check under the sink…no…don’t go there Heather. I’m sure it’s fine. Fuck, now I’m writing to myself.
Toasted
Watching the kids play in the empty lot behind my house, I decided to finish the spring yard raking and donned my baby-blue gloves to scrape up what’s left of Mandy’s winter elimination along with the misguided leaves from last fall’s cleansing. It feels good to take care of your property. Something sprouts from within, perhaps pride.
The boys tottled back home when they spotted me working and JB immediately wanted to help but only if he could use my rake, which left me with a plastic two foot lawn tool not much good for anything but scooping up the debris. Butterscotch, a neighbourhood cat came to my rescue and relieved me of toiling with the indequacies of a child’s toy.
My meditation turned to thoughts of a condominium where yardwork and maintenance are nevermore. But quickly a vision of the kids with no place to play entered in and zapped the reality of carefree homeownership. This is my home and my intentions are set to create a more beautiful atmosphere, especially in the backyard.
Once inside the kids began their cross-eyed nightime ritual of button pushing and steadfast reluctance to mom’s way. JB’s rant went something like:
(JB sobbing) “I want a bedtime snack.”
(Mom) “Ok. Your brother is having crackers with peanut butter and banana. I’ll make you some.”
(JB sobbing louder) “I don’t want that. Don’t you know I want pancakes?”
(Mom) “I’m not able to make pancakes tonight. Another time.”
(JB sobbing) “Then I want a peanut butter sandwich. But I want to help. I want to put the bread in the toaster.”
(Mom) “Go brush your teeth then come down and you can put the bread in.”
(JB sobbing hysterically) “But I don’t want it toasted.”
(Mom silently walks away)
It’s times like these I wish I had someone here with me to backstop the foolishness. Divide and conquer. One on one, even the playing field a bit. I’m sure there would be more humour and less frustration if the odds weren’t stacked against me.
Someone to help with the yardwork would be nice too.
What’s in a label?
So, the other week I purchased a new dress and it hangs eloquently in my closet waiting for just the right occasion. I showed it off to JB this morning and he responded with the sincerity of a four year old. “Wow, that’s pretty Mommy. You’ll look just like a cow.”
Here it is.
Yesterday
Slowly I move toward the truth
lingering ever so slightly in despair
finding strength in conscious thought
and inward love of self
Oh how I long to reach the point
where yesterdays are gone
and the future begins this moment
to birth a new tomorrow
Holding memories for warmth
listening to the flow of life
feeling the tug of hope
to be surrounded by love again
Blessed are the moments
we reach for every one
to mean something more
than yesterday’s pain
Emotional Freedom Technique
About seven years ago I was introduced to an alternative therapy for freeing yourself of dangerous emotional stress. EFT is an easy way to remove negative thinking patterns that create dis-comfort and dis-ease in your body.
Developed by Gary Craig, it is based on chinese accupuncture but without the needles. The basic approach involves examining the painful memories or thoughts that are causing you emotional or physical pain, accepting yourself and then tapping in a series of locations that re-ignite specific meridiens in your body.
The instant reward is renewed balance and the loss of any heavy-hearted feelings that are keeping you stuck in the past. The pattern is easy to follow and can be used for anything from daily aggravations to serious disease and illness. It’s been known to cure people of chronic pain where nothing else has been effective.
Tapping helps me release attachment to outcomes beyond my control and moves me to a place where I am not afraid to achieve the life I want. You can learn more at the website. I’m using it for a number of things: hypothyrodism, smoking, emotional eating and remaining focused on the future, free of doubt.
The amazing part is that all the information is free. Gary Craig makes his research and learnings available online for everyone. I have a little crush on him. Watch the video, I’m sure you’ll see why.
Amid powerful healing claims, it remains outside of mainstream. This is likely due to its free disclosure, making mass marketing attempts unprofitable. Awareness of EFT thrives on “enlightened marketing” to reach those in need.
Consider yourself enlightened.
Just a Moment 