Falling into yesterday
and living there a while
reaching out to no one
to find a steady hold
Taking off the top
and pealing back the layers
finding peace and comfort
and space amid the knots
Cleansing old habituals
and drowning them in fire
finding light and hope
larger than despair
Life was noisy today, internally and externally. Lots of surface stuff going on and lots of rumblings. The kind of rumblings that bring change, which is good, I’m ready.
I spent nearly $20 on stupid party favours so I could get my kids out of WalMart without a scene. The $20 turned out to be the price of admission…to the scene. I wonder what people think. I don’t care actually, but I do wonder. I’m sure any parent is at least empathetic, if not sympathetic, and just wants to hold me…that would be nice. When I see well-behaved kids, I always look for the fishing line that’s holding them down.
I used to tremble when I took my kids to the store. If they left my sight for a second, I would panic. Now it’s earshot and I’m glad to give them some freedom…or is that get some freedom. The trouble is that earshot can take them half way across the store and way past the arm’s reach I need to slam-dunk them into the cart. Following a10-second period of shock, they usually end up crawling around, under, over and through the cart until I’m ready to scream and release them from captivity.
Luckily they are still young enough to care if I leave so I’m often being followed by a short, blond pair sobbing a concert of, “don’t leave without my brother and me.” I’m sure they know I would never leave them. I better survey that.
They are sleeping now and it’s much too quiet in here. I prefer life out loud.
I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I could go back and veer in a different direction. A friend of mine told me that it’s a good idea to move around a lot in your career to experience different workplaces so you can truly recognize your worth and ability. I’m on career-place number two and the first lasted nearly 19 years. The ease in which I embraced my new surroundings is a bit of an amazement to me and proves my friend’s theory. The way I feel in this new role is miles ahead of where I was before and it’s just the beginning.
A dear friend and co-worker of mine is moving on for a year. She will place herself in a new world on Monday morning and our office will be far less inspired. Tonight we laughed and laughed to a comedic jamboree. It seemed a fitting send off—for laughter is the pillar of our relationship. We laugh at things that are funny, we laugh at the unexpected, and quite often the expected. We laugh until we cry and cry until we laugh. There’s a deep connection between our souls and it was evident on our first encounter. I’ll never forget the day I met Schmetta. But just suppose I hadn’t, what a huge piece of life I would have missed.
May your soul guide you to new heights and your wisdom continue to inspire the souls around you. With all my love.
My life is a wonderful mix of everything. I devour the energy I receive from laughing with my friends. I love the excitement of new people and new projects. I’m filled with joy when my children smile. Watching my dog play renews my spirit. Being on or near the water is peaceful beyond my wildest dreams. The sunshine brings energy. The rain brings fertility. I’m full of life and life is full. I dream big. I expect the best outcome. I accept the possibilities. I see no limitations. Daily strife brings opportunity to grow. Being tired reminds me to sleep. May I sleep well tonight and tomorrow fully appreciate the mix.
Yesterday and today I used and heard the word contingency at least a dozen times. A contingency is a possibility that must be prepared for in case certain events take place. What about the law of attraction? Are we setting the stage to miss our original goal by giving energy to contingencies or are we simply giving ourselves breathing space to create the best result?
Often the contingency actually turns out to be the better plan, but don’t be fooled by contingencies that force you off your path…that’s just the ego keeping your dreams at bay.
When I’m really, really happy, I tend to keep my wits about me and subdue my joy — I fear that life is waiting with a left hook. I’ve now removed that fear. I sincerely believe we are here to experience joy and abundance at no cost to us. Joy is not borrowed on credit. There is no bill, with interest, at the end of the month. Feel life and experience your true worth. We all deserve to be happy. Full strength happy, not watered down.
I watched the Secret last night. It wasn’t new stuff for me. I’ve been instructing the universe my whole life but didn’t realize it. I now know where I’m going off the rails. I put everything out there but I fail to receive. Now, I’m ready to receive. I know what I want and I’m working my thoughts toward it. It will happen, I’m convinced. I feel good. I feel grateful. I’m happy and I’m not scared anymore. Bring it on!
My refrigerator and freezer are not working. I’m not sure when they stopped, but everything is completely thawed so I’d say more than 72 hours ago. I’m going to need a big shopping cart on Monday.
I have a friend who fixes refrigerators. I called him tonight, but he was at the tavern…best that he stays there for now… we’ll hook up tomorrow. Actually, I’m thinking back over the last week or so and remembering that my frozen turnip didn’t feel so frozen and the sausages were a little soft…not a good way for a sausage to be. I missed a red flag on that one…or sinful denial.
I’m trying to salvage the milk and juice in a cooler on the deck. Luckily it’s snowing and below zero tonight.
I had completely-thawed Ezekiel raisin bread for supper…toasted with butter. Everything else just had a bad aura.
On the upside, the bacon (from my deep freeze) is thawing nicely for breakfast and the wine is fine.
I’m mindful that my words are available to the world. This is humbling. I’m putting it out there. I believe that life will bring us what we truly desire. The trick is to desire big. Put the ego on mute, don’t let it talk you down and simply accept what comes your way. Be bold and brave and demand the best for yourself. If you don’t clearly believe you are worth it, how will the universe know what to provide. And surely, don’t let someone else’s voice become your own.
I have a cousin who is a photographer. I’m inspired by his talent and his belief in himself. Expect lots Nick, you deserve it.
